🌍️ What Is It Costing You to Stay?

Happy Sunday, friends,

It's not every day I get to interview an author and friend about a book that feels so relevant to us as expats, international families, and global citizens. This week, I have the pleasure of sharing my Q&A with Mark Moberg on his new book, The Life Arbitrage. I think you'll find that its lessons apply no matter where you are on your expat journey, whether you're still dreaming of a move abroad or have been living overseas for years.

Before we dive in, a quick heads up for next weekend. Portugal's tax filing season ends on 30 June, and if you've ever wondered whether you might be missing something important, you're not alone. The team at Fresh Legal will be unpacking one of the biggest surprises many expats face: the tax rules, reporting obligations, and costly mistakes that often catch people off guard long after they've moved to Portugal. It's one you won't want to miss.

Now, let's dive in, shall we?

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Nestled in the heart of central Portugal, Buçaco National Forest feels like stepping into a real-life fairytale. Home to centuries-old cedar, sequoia, and eucalyptus trees from around the world, this enchanted forest was once protected by Carmelite monks who even placed papal decrees at its entrances to keep it untouched. Wander its shaded trails, discover hidden chapels and fountains, and don't miss the spectacular Buçaco Palace, a former royal retreat that looks as though it belongs in a storybook. It's the perfect day trip for anyone looking to escape the summer crowds and experience one of Portugal's most magical green spaces.

Author of The Life Arbitrage: A Financial Planner's Guide to Building a Richer Life in Portugal

Editor's note: Mark's answers below have received only the lightest of edits for grammar and clarity. His voice, sentences, and structure are entirely his own.

1. There's a story in your book about tying a rope to your ankle at age five because you wanted to know how the cow felt at a rodeo. Looking back now, do you think that curiosity shaped the way you move through life?

Mark: I believe it's more about empathy than curiosity. I wanted to understand how the cow felt. I remember, nearly 60 years ago, watching a rodeo on an old black-and-white TV and thinking to myself, "That poor baby cow." They send it out of the chute and then rope it all for sport. That must hurt. So, to answer your question, it may not have shaped my perspective, but it certainly helped refine it. I find first-person war movies upsetting to watch. I understand that this is what the directors are trying to accomplish, but I become so emotionally involved that I forget the plot of the movie.

2. Your dad was a wedding photographer, and you were his assistant from the age of twelve. What stuck with you from those years?

Mark: My dad was a funny guy who had identity issues. And rightfully so. He had Polio at a young age. The Polio settled in his right leg and it was much shorter than his other leg. I forget the exact age but around 10 years old. That is in my mind harder to deal with because you remember what it felt like to run and play. If you study the personalities of Polio victims you will find that most didn't want to be defined by their disability. My dad didn't ever want you to notice that he had a shorter leg. He never wanted pity. So I guess to answer your question, I gained an understanding of how we present ourselves to the world with all of our imperfections. We all want to be accepted.

3. You write really vividly about Tampa and your life before Portugal. What do you genuinely miss from that life, and what are you happy to have left behind?

Mark: I write in the book very explicitly on this. I don't believe Portugal is paradise. I don't even think Portugal is for everyone. I believe that moving to Portugal involves understanding that it is tradeoffs. I frame the question as this:

At this time in my life, what faults am I willing to live with?

I think this is the honest answer. The truth is that there are probably many different places in the world that would answer this question. But, we only have a finite time on this planet and we have to make choices and this one presented many of the answers we were looking to solve.

4. Your book opens with three generations: your grandfather, your father, and you, each prescribed not a place but a pace, a safety, a permission. When did you first see your move to Portugal as part of that pattern rather than a personal choice?

Mark: I didn't see this until about a month before I went to get the book formatted. That is why it is the very first part of the book. I didn't want to disturb the body of the work but I thought it was interesting enough to put it somewhere and the Prologue just made the most sense at that point.

5. You coined the term "Life Arbitrage" for what you do. For readers who've never heard the word "arbitrage," how would you describe the concept over a cup of coffee?

Mark: Let me describe it about coffee. Starbucks coffee to be more poignant. If I buy a Venti Latte Starbucks coffee in say Tampa, Florida I believe I can buy it for about $7 US. I can buy the same Venti Latte at Starbucks in Portugal for about 5 euros. Now when I convert the 5 euros Starbucks latte to dollars it will be $5.75. The $1.25 difference is the arbitrage. It is the same coffee just priced differently. I define it in the book as:

The practice of exploiting the difference between the life you're paying for and the life you could actually be living.

It is still your life, just priced differently.

6. You write that the most important financial question isn't how to grow your money, it's whether the life your money is funding is the one you actually want. After 25 years as a financial planner, what made you start questioning whether people were actually building lives they wanted, instead of just building wealth?

Mark: "You didn't grow your money to stare at it." that is a quote from the book and I find this part fascinating. Humans are fine tuned to understand patterns. It has served us well. We learn that certain prints in the sand when we were hunter gatherers made us more concerned for our safety. When we heard thunder we should seek shelter. But those patterns in the modern world sometimes break down. We read books and see YouTube videos and we see statements that, over time, seem to form patterns again. One of those is that you need $XXX number of dollars to retire. That seems sensible at first, but somewhere along the way the number became more important than what it was meant to help you achieve. If you want to understand this more in depth, no better place than reading Goodhart's Law. The law is based on this premise: "When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure."

7. The "3am question" is the heartbeat of the book, that "is this it?" moment lying awake at 3:14 in the morning. What do you tell someone who's in the middle of asking it right now, today, while reading this interview?

Mark: I guess this is the question I ask myself most often. So this book was a cathartic practice for me as well. I am at the back end of my life. Older and possibly wiser, but that is questionable at times. The thing that I am acutely aware of is the finite amount of time left. I am not paralyzed by it, but it does force me to do the things I want to do. Even if that means spending an afternoon enjoying a glorious sunset. So the "doing" just to put a check mark on my bucket list isn't probably the exact answer; it probably looks more like awareness of time.

8. You make a striking distinction between the visible decision (logistics, money, paperwork) and the invisible decision (identity, permission, the "am I allowed to want this?" question). Why do you think so many people get stuck on the identity piece rather than the logistics?

Mark: I would refer back to Goodhart's law. Or probably even more illustrative would be my go to behavioral economist Rory Sutherland. In his book Alchemy he makes the argument that we are not rational creatures. What we really are is very emotional creatures who justify our emotional decisions with rational decisions. The problem is that then we get ourselves so wrapped up in the external numbers that we forget that the numbers were created to help us understand ourselves rather than the other way around.

9. A parent at the school pickup line once asked you, "Is America not good enough for you?" What did you say in the moment, and what would you say now?

Mark: This still gets people upset when I bring it up. There is something about the American psyche that for whatever reason gets us upset when we don't fully embrace wanting to bleed red, white and blue. It is interesting because the US is the leading power in the world and we still have an inferiority complex. I don't know if I would answer the question differently but context is important. Sometimes to appreciate anything it is to step outside of the situation you are in and living in Portugal allows that perspective.

10. You describe four kinds of permission: cognitive, identity based, social, and moral. Which one was hardest for you personally? And what did walking through it actually feel like?

Mark: Moral is the hardest for me because morals is a values concept. A weighting that we apply. Each of us has a different set and they change. We humans can rationalize almost anything. History is full of decisions that may have started as well intended values that calcified into heuristics and it is there where our well intentioned values become dangerous. Sometimes our values conflict with each other. Leaving the states to move to Portugal and saying goodbye to my mom was one of them. Two values in conflict: The values of being the good supportive son and the values of providing a different life for my immediate family and myself. Sometimes there is no resolving of the tension and you make a decision and just learn to live with the decision.

11. One of the most moving parts of the book is the story of the woman who stayed in Portugal after losing her husband. What did her decision teach you about what really makes a life feel meaningful?

Mark: Life is what you make of it. One of the things I learned is that we make decisions with incomplete information. We never can know all the information there is to know about how our life will turn out. Watching her regain her footing was inspiring.

12. You're very candid in the book that you made over $43,000 in mistakes during your own move, even with every professional tool at your fingertips. Of those mistakes, which one still makes you wince the most, and what would you tell past Mark the night before he got on the plane?

Mark: The honest answer is this. Had we understood that my wife's job, for which we came over, did not qualify for the NHR designation, we probably wouldn't have moved over. Now, this may be me putting a positive spin on a bad situation, but I am glad we are here anyway. It was a heck of a price of admission, but the entire family is glad we are here.

13. You're refreshingly honest that Portugal isn't always paradise. You say one of the most important questions is: "What faults am I willing to live with?" What parts of Portugal have grown on you over time, and what still drives you mad?

Mark: The bureaucracy is the worst. Between the language barrier and the inconsistency in who needs what and when, it can drive me mad. You can go to the same government office three different times and get three different answers.

14. You moved somewhere knowing you'd always be a little bit on the outside. How do you live with that, four years in?

Mark: I think I hide a little of this because of my work. Most of my work involves helping US expats. I also live in an area with many expats. I will readily admit this isn't my strong point yet. I am an introvert at heart, so it is sometimes easier to retreat into my comfort zone. Let's just say it is a work in progress.

15. You quote Rory Sutherland's idea that "magic is in the things that can't be measured." What's something magical about your life in Portugal that no spreadsheet could have predicted?

Mark: I love that guy, Rory. I stated this earlier, but how boring would life be if all we did was live toward a quantifiable set of numbers or goals? I ask people, "What has happened to you in the last week that honestly surprised you?" Was it a new way to look at a problem? The taste of Caldo Verde soup on a cold January day? Or the infuriating way Portuguese locals drive on a narrow two-lane road? The surprise can be both magical and harrowing. But to answer your questions specifically, the biggest thing for me is the sense of safety here. My kid goes to school without the feeling of going through security screenings that would make a penitentiary proud.

16. When readers finish The Life Arbitrage, what's the one idea you hope stays with them?

Mark: I wanted to introduce a self-help book through the lens of Portugal. Each of us has our own "Portugal," and sometimes we lack the clarity and permission structure to understand how to get there. I hope this book reaffirms your belief in yourself.

📖

The Life Arbitrage is Mark Moberg's argument that the most important financial question of your life isn't how to grow your money, it's whether the life your money is funding is the one you actually want.

Part memoir, part practical guide, the book follows Mark's own family move from Florida to Portugal, alongside the lessons he's learned from twenty five years as a financial planner helping people build lives that looked successful on paper, but didn't always feel right underneath.

What makes the book different is that it's not really about Portugal. Not entirely, anyway.

It's about the strange moment where you realise you might want something different. A slower life, a more intentional one, and perhaps a version of success that feels good to live inside. Mark calls it Life Arbitrage, the idea that your time, money, and energy might just produce a completely different life if they were spent somewhere, or somehow, else.

Mark writes honestly about the emotional side of reinvention, the fear of leaving, the identity shift that comes with starting over, and the practical realities of making a big move abroad. He also makes a point I keep returning to long after I finished reading: staying is just as valid a choice as leaving, as long as it's truly your choice.

Portugal is the setting. But the real subject of the book is clarity.

You can find more information about Mark's book, The Life Arbitrage, at thelifearbitrage.com. There, you'll be able to preview the book and sign up to be notified when the eBook launches on Amazon on 15 June. The paperback version will also be available from the same date.

What’s the difference between “tu” and “você”? 🤔

If you’re learning Portuguese from Portugal, this is one of the first things to understand!

Both mean “you,” but they’re used in different regions and situations.

👉 In most of Portugal, "tu" is informal and used with friends or family.

👉 "Você" is more common in Brazil, or in very formal or distant settings in Portugal.

💡 Want to sound more natural when in Portugal? Know when to use each!

🗣 Want to learn more phrases like this? Check out Mia’s free Portuguese course “Kickstart Your Portuguese - The Basics”.

💡 Mia from Mia Esmeriz Academy is a Portuguese teacher from Porto with more than 15 years of experience teaching foreigners. She helps expats become fluent in Portuguese in a clear and practical way. Alongside her courses, she also shares free content on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok.

Thanks for reading! 💌

Hustle on!

Angelique

PS — got an expat friend who's one bureaucratic form away from booking a flight home? Forward this newsletter their way. We're all just trying to figure it out together.